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Unhealthy Relationship for Teens

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Oluomoadebayo, Sep 17, 2016.

  1. Oluomoadebayo

    Oluomoadebayo Moderator Staff Member

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    No thanks to social media, smartphones, and the likes. Kids of nowadays are exposed to many things they are supposed not to as a result of technology and civilization.

    In the light of this, it's difficult for parents to completely monitor their children's daily activities and actions. Putting this into consideration, I will like us to learn from each other by discussing;

    1. When is the right time for a child to start having a romantic relationship with an opposite sex

    2. What advice can we give to a child about relationship

    3. How do we identify an unhealthy relationship in our child's life

    4. Can we discuss s3x with our teens

    5. If we are late or accident happened, is it right to scold or support the child

    I look forward to your deep thought on these aformentioned questions.
     
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  2. Gertn

    Gertn Active Member

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    We need a counselor or an experience mother to answer these questions, perhaps @Pejuamadi could chip in some idea because me i no know nothing oooo.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2016
  3. Sleek

    Sleek New Member

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    I feel with the way things are in the world today, it's best to try and educate kids because if we don't, they'll get the education somehow, somewhere and that might not be too good
     
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  4. Kelly

    Kelly Member

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    Interesting thread I must say because truth be told, children of these days are getting into more adventures because of the level of exposure they get on social media. Ive been so wary of my sixteen year old younger sister using an internet enabled phone but ive since learned to put her care in God's hand, lol.

    So for the answers to your questions
    1. The right time should be when that child is mature physically and emotionally, for me that should be from 18 and above

    2. Nothing is as it seems, having sex does not make you look mature or belong and not all frogs turn to princes with a kiss.

    3. From experience, an unhealthy relationship is one that the child feels the need to conform to some certain standards or belong, that should be a red card that peer pressure is going on.

    4. Of course yes, i'll even discuss it with my three year old daughter given the number of pedophiles on the prowl these days, you have to inform them really early so one idiot doesnt prey on their naivete

    5. I will scold my child and then support him/her because their mistakes does not make them less my child than they are. If at all, i just became a young grandma:D:D:D
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2016
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  5. Pejuamadi

    Pejuamadi Active Member Staff Member

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    With the news I keep seeing everyday about how children are abused, I tell you it's really scary.

    Sex education should be introduced as early as possible. Children should be made aware of their bodies and body parts and should be trained to report any suspicious advances from anyone.

    1. The right time to have a relationship should be from eighteen and above but parents might not even be aware when their kids have begun relationships. I would advice parents, both mom and dad to gain the trust of their kids at an early age. It's difficult in our society but we have to make a conscious effort to try to gain their trust so that they can discuss anything with you.

    Gaining trust doesn't make the parent their best friend. There are still boundaries but when kids trust their parents, there might be no fear of peer pressure. The kids will grow up feeling confident in themselves with no need to impress anyone and will seek your opinion on issues they may face.

    2.if my child begins a relationship, I would like to know the person. No hiding in shadows. It should be clear for all of us to see. Kids should be advised not to go into anything they do not want. It's okay to say No, if you are not onboard with something and if the other person can't accept it then maybe they do not have your best interest at heart. Friends will come and go, so will relationships, so if something doesn't feel right, don't force it.

    3. if ones child's attitude/behaviour changes, it definitely means something is wrong. This is where there needs to be trust between both parents and children so that they can confide in them.

    4. Yes o, discuss with them. I think 9 years is ideal. Although as early as three/four they should be aware of their body parts. I have told my eldest daughter who is 7 years that her private parts are hers alone and no one should touch it. If anyone does she should report to me or the closest person of authority. I don't even wash her parts if I have to bathe her because they are hers alone to touch.

    5. A very good scolding and then support. What has happened has happened. You can't throw the baby along with the bath water after all.
     
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  6. Gertn

    Gertn Active Member

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    The same applicable to male child in your opinion @Pejuamadi ?
     
  7. Pejuamadi

    Pejuamadi Active Member Staff Member

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    When I wrote that I was actually thinking about females but yes, the same is applicable to the boys. Nine years is a mature age, even seven year olds are already so wise these days. It all depends on what they are exposed to.

    Now, regardless of sex, I think the best thing that a parent can do is win the trust of the child.

    Many parents tend to ignore children as if they would grow automatically or parents deal with them harshly thinking that discipline is all about the rod.

    Yes, the rod is good in some instances but be careful not to over do it. Let the offence be worth the punishment and when punishing, let them know what they did wrong.

    Now, parents should also try to instill the right values in their kids, both sexes, at am early age. You can't ignore them in their formative years and suddenly want to become part of their lives when they are grown.

    Values go-ahead in shaping the attitude and behaviour of the kid in future.

    Sorry to say but we have many crappy fathers in the society and most of it is because the men/father's aren't really present in their homes. If it's not a single mom situation, the man is very busy with his job and barely has time for the kids. Most father's never really had father's who were present with them, they never really had father's who were their role models.

    Now how can one be a good father when one never learnt it from anyone else? And That's how the cycle goes on and on. Generations and generations of people who don't know the first thing about bringing up in kid in the way they should grow.

    As parents we take so much for granted, priorities are misplaced, most times our jobs come first.

    Let's try to be present for our children when they are young, thats the age to instill in them the values and attitude which they would in turn use to take on the world.

    Hope o have not deviated too much.
     
  8. Gertn

    Gertn Active Member

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    Deviated? No way! You are a typical example of a responsible mother, your in-dept explanation got me worried about the type of father I am and I don't even want you to stop.

    Oluomoadebayo is lucky to have you on here, thank you.
     
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  9. Oluomoadebayo

    Oluomoadebayo Moderator Staff Member

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    It is a privilege to have every one of you on here, I'm indeed a lucky man, thank you.
     
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